Friday, November 28, 2008

i fell in love with a guy a i couldn't get........maybe it's just a crush....
but still.....i like a guy i couldn't get
why is it tt all the guys i want, i can't seem to get?
or maybe all guys tt i can't get is tt one tt i want?
hmmm....i'm pretty sure it's the former.....cos they were single when i liked them
guys tt i like always slip thru my fingers.
i'm not the daring kind of person to tell my feelings to a guy.
i was once. but tt was nearly 10 yrs ago....i was younger.....n i told a guy i like him...
and was "crushed"....
ever since then, i have never been tt brave to say or show to someone tt i like him
of cos i go around telling my gal frens n bro tt i like this person or tt person...
ok...not exactly go around telling.....but u get wat i mean.
currently, i like a few guys.....so i tell myself tt those feelings are just crushes....
n here's the thing.....they're younger than me.....
omg....to think about it....all the guys tt i so-called like are younger than me.....
not tt i have a problem with tt...i dun care bout tt age barrier.....
but just like me....they have no guts to say anything to me..
someone once told me tt guys are probably intimidated by me? i wanna know y!
am i tt un-approachable? tsk tsk.....wat is wrong with me?
do i have to be so cute-sy, girly and silly for a guy to aproach me?
of cos i'm not going to do tt.....oh gosh.....tt wudn't be me anymore.
maybe i have to smile a lil bit MORE..... (^_^)
maybe is the fact tt all my peers are still studying n they're closer to those who are still studying...
left me all out......working my a** off.
i'm sorry if i grew up to be a LIL of a tough chick.
i dun open up much to anybody.....i do tell stuff to a handful of ppl
but nobody really knows wat the hell is going thru my mind.....exactly
parents? who in the world tell their folks their darkest secret, worries, etc.....
yea...ur mom cud be ur best fren...but tt doesn't mean she knows eveything tt's happening in ur life
i'd rather eat vegetables than talk to them about my feelings
talking to parents = complicated
ok gosh.....i'm babbling already.....
seriously.....i think tt i will never find a guy in my life.....
a colleague told me tt maybe i have a high standard when i'm "looking". do i?
i really think tt i'm not...cos y else wud i be jealous of seeing tt younger guy(s) go out with another girl....rite?
it's not just with one guy....it's every single one tt i like, either like someone else or have no guts...
(imagine me with a lil tears now) tsk tsk....
all these thoughts just makes me think tt i am indeed too damn complicated....i mite as well choke myself or smtg....
or maybe get a puppy get all these over n done with
i ask myself what prompt me to writing this today......n it's amazing how this happen
all bcos i saw a guy i like whom i can't get
i need advice ppl.....anyone who is reading....just leave a comment on anything.....
i need some advice.....i really think i'm going to have a meltdown, if not now....soon....
anyway, my mood changes very fast.....according to my astrological sign, i can be happy for one moment and fall in the pits of depression the very next second.....this is definitely one of those moments.....feels crazy.....<--------------feels like it's not related, but this proves my point.....it's getting crazier.

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