choices -> romantic novel -> time

there are so many things i wanna do in life

things i can only dream about doing but no guts to do it

nevertheless, i wanna know that i have an option whether or not to do it

it's good to know that you can still decide whether to take that plunge or hold back

good to know you can choose

just read my third "romance novel"

i didn't like reading before but this book that caught my attention: Lisa Kleypas' Sugar Daddy

my very first novel that i finished reading

took a long time to read it at first because it was "slow moving" in the beginning

but manage to speed up when some parts got interesing

so fast that right after i finished it, i went to get my 2nd book from the same author also titled Blue Eyed Devil

finished that book in a flash...sort of.

my third book, i decided to try some other author, Emily Griffin's Love The One Your With

her's is not as intense so i fell in and out of love of the story

but in the end, i love her story even more and wished it didn't have to end

lesson learn, don't judge the book till you have read the whole thing!!!! =)

patience in her heroin, Ellen, anger, feeling lost, not enough closure, lucky, determine, etc

reading her book really makes me envy Ellen

her life, her choices, the love she has, the love her husband has for her

i longed for someone to love and some who loves me...as much as Ellen's character

the good and the bad that comes with it

damn....love story has so much effect on me.....

yes of course. it's not a real....but that doesn't mean it can't/doesn't happen

finding your true love and all

"sacrificing" your marriage to get the long awaited closure from your ex

just to learn you have indeed make the right decision

OMG, i think i can write the whole summary here if i had time...but i'm not going to

i am definitely buying the latest one from Lisa Kleypas, Smooth Talking Stranger

and maybe find another one from Emily Griffin too

and maybe find another author to love, maybe 2 or 3 or 4

yikes....didn't know i'd enjoy reading....maybe it's giving me to keep some dreams alive

or just the plain feeling of filling the void and boredom in my life

but damn, reading is expensive!!

anyway....it brings me to my next point...i think

i like writing all these stuff....especially if i'm bored

this is ONE of the things i wanna do in life...to write...whatever is it that i want

i wrote a story once....half way done....wait..not even half way....just a few pages

have no time to continue ever since i started working

but time is something i have to find

maybe cos i keep reading and try correcting my own mistakes, grammer, spelling, etc

until i get bored and son't know how to continue

but i have to do this, i have to finish my so-called novel

one thing i learn from my bro, finish what you started whether u like it or not

although, i;m not sure he sticks to it, but i'm hoping he does....and maybe, so will i

so i am going to find time for my passion once i start college again

it'll be as boring as the last time....but i can endure another 2 years

i promise i'd make the most of it this time

graduating again and have my family there with me this time around

as for the rest of the things i wanna do in life, i know i can do it

i just have to make time, either for work, studies, relaxing, exercise or fun

gotta have faith that i can achieve whatever goals i set for myself

and not by what others set for me!

blek

no more motivation to carry on working
also have less motivation to go back to study but that's just a small sense of fear i guess
fear of blending in
need to find a huge motivator to jump start my spirit into going back to college
can't back down now cos i have already paid my registration fees and stuff
1K plus all gone
my hard earn money
for the second time, i'm gonna have to support my own education
what a burden!
seeing some kids whom parents support their edu,
then throw that all away by not caring how well they do and just to have fun at coll/uni
really angers me
there they have no need to worry anything but to just study
and yet they throw that away
here i am having to worry to fend for myself.......so much to worry for
food, books, tuition fees, personal expenses, blending in, peer pressure, bills
gotta have to cut down on entertainment. leisure, comfort = hard work
i do envy those who have the means to do whatever they want
but i hate those who just throw it all away
they haven't felt the pinch
i consider my family almost below average (even though we don't look like it)
mummy's struggling...been struggling and always have been.....so i can't depend on her
she has come a long way since her younger days
and of course, she complains about every penny i spend and i understand where she's coming from
but sometimes i ignore that and "waste" some of my money on myself, on unnecessary stuff
cos if i don't i'll just go kuu-koo
when i told my aunt that i'm furthering my studies by taking another loan,
she asked me why my mom can't pay for my edu
she made a good point when she said this to my mom, "she still so young and already have so many debts"
in a way, i wish mummy was as rich as her so that i don't have to worry about money
and having parents who can support ur edu would be mind relieving
and wish that my aunt knows that we are no where close in being half as rich as her
but we are the way we are....gotta and have accepted that
and this will be a huge step for me to be supporting myself
if i have to go back to having no life (as if i have one now), then so be it
at least until one year is up and i have to be in kl....and still fend for myself
OMG....am i that scared to be totally independent??
all i wanted since high school is to be independent..to live on my own....or as mummy would say "spreading my wings"
but not when i have no financial support to even kick start an independence!
of course i'm scared.......damn it!!!