"holiday" in the big city

Since last Wednesday was Malacca Historical City Day...took leave on the next followings days so i can finally "rest"....been working quite hard since December
at last, was able to take a trip to KL to waste my bonus.....

well, wanted to take bus on wed afternoon but kind jun ching said he'll be driving up that day
we headed to KLCC....walked through carparks, underground walkway, a little drizzle and reached Pavillion
then walked to a mamak (can't remember the name but was near a NZ curry house...dunno why i paid attention to a makan place that i wasn't at instead of the one i went to.... -.-''')
later we watched 'Shinjuku Incident'.....though it was a nice movie, it was definitely violent, gory and ewk....at parts i did feel like throwing up....

met up wit a colleague after the movie.....wanted to go for dinner but aunt said that i have to go home by 8.30 to follow her out for dinner
so our meet was cut short....we only managed to go out for a drink and a 'road-trip' from one end of a world to another....
just kidding....though it was "fun" getting stuck in a jam
was wondering how will i survive in KL if i were to ever live there

moving on, the whole of Thursday, went shopping shopping shopping and more shopping
first stop, Sunway Pyramid
ate porridge with "eu char kuey".....not bad.....
next stop was One Utama.....ate at Itallianies for lunch

this was black pepper mushroom soup, i think...wasn't that tasty...i prefer the one i cooked from the can...much more delicious....

can't believe lyn took this pic....

and the pizza was ok-ok......too many tomatoes......

later, shop shop shop, managed to find 2 blouses....i adore one long sleeved that i bought at Forever 21....wore it the next day.....kena scolded cos didn't wash before use....but who cares....love it love it love it.....wished i had taken a photo then
we end up going home at nearly 11pm.....and i think cousié's dad @ my uncle got a lil angry that i got her out so late....yikes (sorry lyn)

friday was a bit out....planned to go out with frens but mummy had a thinggie in KL
so had to teman her as she'll just get LOST alone in KL......as if i won't get lost but at least i'm not like her
since aunty and cousin had to leave early to work and classes, i had to go out as early as 7.30am with them
went and had english breakfast (i have never been so jelak of egg until that day).....just too much egg
anyway, uncle sent me to KLCC right after that and waited or shall i say "kill time" till i had to "fetch" mummy from Puduraya at noon
OMG.......8.30am in KLCC.....KNS!!!!!
shops weren't open then, so sat at food court and stared at blank space....sort of la....
after "fetching" mummy and dropped her off at maju junction for her thinggie, sat around that so called "dead mall" till 5pm....nearly slept at starbucks
then went back to KLCC for cousin to fecth us, and that was nearly 7.30pm.....
i can officially say that i am sick of KLCC!!!!

and then there was yesterday.....
went to ikea, just to eat the hotdogs there....simply yummy....
but before that......paid for the most expensive movie ticket in my entire life at Cineleisure
me and cousié wanted to watch The Fast & The Furious 4
the only time was suitable was 11.30am, but it was only showing at the Platinum Suites
i thought she knew the prices but she didn't..cos she also didn't go before
so we asked the person there, and i swear both of us heard RM14
but ended up paying RM40 each for that "luxury" cineplex
thank goodness the show is worth paying for
but i have to say, best movie experience ever.....recliner seat, SPACIOUS seat.....so so nice!!!

all and all, i had a fun week......
shopping with cousié, meeting with colleague, movie with an old fren, expensive movie i ever paid, nearly dozing off at starbucks and all the rest
now zapping back to reality as i have to work tomolo......haiz

in a dilemma

i'm torn between continuing my degree when i already have a secured job, but it's not a job that i want/like.....
it's hard to make a decision when it feels like parents are depending on you....
told myself to be selfish and do what i want for a change since all this while i've been doing what they tell me to... =(
spoke to my lecturer and she asked whether i wanted to continue my degree
ever since i graduated in 2006, i have always wanted to pursue my degree but at that time i just didn't have the financial means to do it
and was lack of a few points for a scholarship
so i gave up then and was also lacking the determination to continuing studying
so i end up working
it's not easy....having to look at your friends with degrees and doing what they like doing
i admit, am a lil jealous
so that plays s a small factor on my decision to continue study
another is cos a diploma is like water to the working life...means nothing
there is a vast difference in salary between a diploma holder and a degree holder
and i want to latter.....
i have to let my parents know about my decision cos this will affect them financially too
if i were to continue, i would have to give up alot
no more buying unnecessary stuff....no more shopping for the sake of just shopping
gonna have to concentrate on just studying for 2 more years so that i can secure another job which hopefully pays well by the time i graduate
i have to make a decision
for me, it's now or never
cos the course i wanna continue is in june
lecturer told me that if i were to join this intake, there'll be a 10% discount on the total fees
which definitely helps
cos the course i'm planning to pursue is not very cheap
gonna have to apply again for college scholarship, if not, find some foundation to help, lastly ptptn
a friend told me, "you're still young" and of course i agree
but there's just so many things to think through before i make this decision....
dilemma! dilemma! dilemma!

23 yrs 2 mths = 278 mths = 8460 days

finally went out for lunch after 2 or 3 weeks of eating bread in the office
not that i don't wanna eat, just so damn lazy to get my butt out the office to ta-pau solid food
so, my colleague ajak to go to dataran, and we ate US pizza
i think we ordered a personal set, which shud consist of 4 slices of pizza
but it came in a regular set, double than what we ordered
1st time eating 4 slices of pizza......my limit is usually 2, max 3 slices
so bloated after that...felt like vomiting...cos so jelak
after that, went to daiso, a japanesse chain store....where every item costs RM5
which is cheap for some items.....but so bloody expensive for certain items such as a simple comb....ridiculous

earlier in the morning, got the guts to ask permission from my boss
though it took me 15 minutes to calm myself and gather my words
asking whether i can go home a lil early tomorrow to attend the good friday mass
he said no problem.....thank goodness.....
so yea....will leaving work at 3.45pm......yahoooooooo.......
but it will be a long tiring day, going to mass right after work, might be attending the procession
haiz haiz haiz......

anyway, i can't wait for next wednesday, am finally going up to kl by myself....
gonna do some damages to my bank account by doing some hardcore shopping....
we will see how far i'll go once in kl.....^-^

oooh...just realised...........i'm exactly 23 yrs and 2 mths old......crap! tt's not a good thing....
wait....23 yrs and 2 mths young!!!
23 yrs 2 mths = 278 mths = 8460 days.....and counting!!

Wednesday's with Rae

another boring day at work....finally my immediate officer came back from a week's leave
thought that at last, i'll be busy again....since he's back, but i still had time to wonder around in my head
crazy of me to actually wanting more work to do
but i guess it's better than being totally bored....it can really drive a person insane
while at work, heard BSB's As Long As You Love Me on a customer's caller ringtone
whoops.....slipped back to 1998 or is it 2000 when that song came on air
man....i remembered watching that video clip a gazillion times....
the one where the guys auditioned 6 girls for smtg....weird cos the band only consist of 5 boys
so i always wonder why do they need 6 girls?
well, anyway, couldn't care less about it now....

moving on, had my Wednesday's-With-Rachel...but this time it's straight up after work....compare to lunch time previously
had so much laughter about........uoh-oh....crap (rae, i forgot wat it was about again)
anyway, while we were having dinner at nando's, heard yet again another BSB song, this time it was Get Down......sigh.....good old days
later went to dataran for a walk-a-ton....seems like we walk n walk n walk......from one end to the other
but walking on top of dataran's field was just amazing....very calm, breezy....nice evening out
all and all, i had fun today....tired but fun....nice continuation from saturday.... =)

better day

so nice having Rachel home at last....
it's been awhile since we hang out and chat
kept my mind busy with just talking and not really thinking
but i think i talked too much till can drool while talk while eat.....
OMG....like uncivilized person....what a sight to behold..... -.-'''
anyway, we went to mcd and sat there for 2 hours.....just chatting....
more to me talking than her....sorry girl....i know i talked too much....hehehe
after that, went around dataran....walk walk a bit....ate chocolate waffle.....thanks girl for letting me have some....i enjoyed it....never tried before this actually....
after that, went to "thai wadee reflexology" for a fish spa thinggie....
the one where u put ur feet in a pool....and little fishes start nibbling off ur dead cells....
very ticklish...nearly half an hour of torture for rachel, i think.....but i had fun though....
thanks girl for temaning me...wish we had more time to chat.....
boys. careers. dates. holiday. etc etc etc.....
muaks girl!!!

Living versus Surviving

people often forget how to LIVE
rather, all they try to do in this life is survive
the world out there is tough, i know
but why do we tend to just survive and not LIVE our lives?
sitting at my desk, thinking that this job indeed doesn't suit me
thinking that this is not what i was born to do
this is not what i want
has always made me realize it's time to toughen up and pursue something i really like doing
this job is not something that i want, but it is something that i need to survive
which brings me back to my point
people often forget how to LIVE!! including me, that is

how are we suppose to live if we do not like what we do?
doing something we don't like in order to survive is not exactly living
what i am frustrated about is that i have to start out young to be carrying such a burden to work
it's not exactly that i have to support my family
but in a way, i feel like whatever i do, i have to keep in mind that my actions/decision will affect them
whether it's quitting my job to continue my studies
or getting a job in another state
i can't help but to be totally aware of all pros and cons if i were to make such decisions
i do want to get out of my house
one, because i feel like my folks are controlling my life 24/7
two, because i have the need to be independent, cos if i don't start now, when will i?

i didn't exactly had the luxury of furthering my studies or pursuing something i like, maybe i lack the confidence but that's beside the point
though i feel like i have no motivation to do what i want
lack of drive, confidence, knowledge and support
i have no support from practically everyone
which leads to me being so needy.....longing for that mr. right
but then again, it pushes me to be that independent, and i think that scares me
omg....i think that might also scare guys to approach me.....cos i'm independent?
hahahahaha....hearing myself say that in my head makes me wanna burst to laughter

i don't think that I'm that independent....cos I'm still living with my folks....feeding off them
but that doesn't mean I'm needy nor dependent
or that i can be independent and not needy
crap!! lost what i wanted to say and got lost on what I'm suppose to mean...
sigh~~~
i need a break from life.......traveling across Europe will definitely help
but that would be so costly......maybe seeing a shrink would be good too...same thing...costly
anybody wants to be my shrink for FOC?
oh gosh....I'm going nuts....as usual
madness!!!

so....i do wanna be selfish and live on my own but thinking about it just affects my daily life
i know that times are bad and changing jobs right now isn't that of a brilliant move
but keeping the recession factor aside, i have always wanted to live on my own
out of this comfort zone but honestly i think i'm scared of that
so i have to make a decision, no hurry though
just wish i could have this conversation with my folks
i'm too young to be surviving......i need to be living!!
but first, i have to figure out what the hell is it that i want in life!!!
haiz...... -.-'''

Never cry for any relationships in life
Because for the one whom you cry does not deserve your tears
And the one who deserves will never let you cry

Treat everyone with politeness
Even those who are rude to you
Not because they are not nice
But because you are nice

Never search your happiness in others
It will only make you feel alone
Rather, search it in yourself
You will feel happy even if you are left alone